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Sunday, September 9, 2007

Winding down

Things as we know it are winding down.

In a few short weeks, our wonderful Pastor (PS) will depart the pulpit … and while I am deeply saddened about this, I am grateful for the time that I have gotten to know him as my Pastor.

I am also excited abut the possibilities that await him professionally. Our churches loss is the gain of many couples currently struggling in their relationships.

When I get beyond feeling anxious, I can also say that I am excited about the endless possibilities in store for our church. I am sure that some will desert … not being able to cope with such a loss … but the rest of us – we’re gonna hang in there and figure out how to make it – better … no not better … just as good, but different. Sometimes change, even reluctant change, can be a good thing. I don’t think it has to diminish from the wonderful job that PS has done … its just hard to see that different is bearable, or dare I say pleasing, until you faced with the opportunity of different.

Activity is swirling in these final weeks … child dedication is on the rise, celebrations are planned, and I have no doubt that more than a few couples are seeking some last minute free words of wisdom.

PS preached on Ephesians 4 - Unity in the Body of Christ – today. What a powerful message for our church. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think about how this relates to not only the church, but also our home and work lives. It seems – to me – that finding unity in the church is so much easier than at home or work … unity = harmony? Yea, I don’t see that nearly as often as I would like.

Living as Children of Light

Is tolerance easier at church? For me it is. I can excuse those around me because I easily give them the benefit of the doubt – I give them grace, as they have given me. But why is it that the minute we (some) pull out of the parking lot, we are so easily led to judge?

I am certainly guilty. I can’t tell you how many times I have left church only to get behind someone doing something foolish in the car in front of me. Of course I attempt to temper my words – but do I temper my mind? Not so easily.

How quickly we move to the dark side. And I don’t mean that we all run out of church and commit adultery or kill … but how often do we hang out after church and gossip about others? Compare notes and stories about them?

Is this not an equal sin?

I’m just thinkin’ …

Nettie


Ephesians 4
Unity with Christ
As a prisoner of the Lord, I beg you to live in a way that is worthy of the people God has chosen to be his own.
Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.
Try your best to let God's Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace.
All of you are part of the same body. There is only one Spirit of God, just as you were given one hope when you were chosen to be God's people.
We have only one Lord, one faith, and one baptism.
There is one God who is the Father of all people.
Not only is God above all others, but he works by using all of us, and he lives in all of us.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Pulling at my heart strings, oh Lord.

Or ... some days are just harder than others.

My oldest baby started high school this week. I never dreamed that I would not be there to share it with her. Even as it is happening, I keep thinking something will change ... something will heal this fragile relationship that we have. Most days I am OK; I accept the fact that she is safe and well taken care ... just because it isn't the plan that I would have chosen doesn't make it wrong - right? But days like this ... it feels so wrong. I should be there to greet her and hear about all of the exciting details. I should be able to calm the fears that she might have and help her celebrate her victories.

Instead, I know nothing of either.

We talk now. It is a polite dance that we do with one another. I am keenly aware that neither of us actually knows the other any more. Perhaps that is what tugs the most. How is that possible? That I don't know my baby? The one I carried in my womb for nine months (and two extra weeks!) ... the child whose body I cradled through her first shots, booboo's and delights.

I try not to doubt His purpose in this plan ... she, my girl, is destined for great things - I know it. It is myself I doubt. The words choke in my throat when I see her and all I want to do is grab her and make her understand how very much I love her. I want her to see my heart -- to know, that no matter what has happened I only ever wanted what was best. I absolutely made mistakes along the path, but I really, truly, never stopped thinking about how I could better her life.

I still haven't. But I don't think she knows that. Believes that.

I will be sad on this page ... only. When I hit publish, I will buck up and try to remain strong. I know that this is what God wants of me. I know that this is what she, ultimately, needs of me. As do my other babies. My husband. My friends. They need me to be strong -- and I will try.

Give me strength Oh Lord. Hold me close ... I continue to commit myself to You! Praise you ...

Nettie

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.
Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law.
I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws.
I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD; do not let me be put to shame.
I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
Psalm 119:28-32