Boy am I long winded .. My testimony - Part 3

Of course, after spilling your guts in cyberspace you tend to rethink things … well at least I do, but then again I do that often – rethink things, overthink things, think things to death … that’s me.

And so, I was trying to figure out when religion really became important to me. When I gave it more thought, deemed it more important.

Like many, I think that life changed a lot - regarding family, health and religion - with the birth of my first child (DD). Obviously a life altering experience for most women, I was no exception there. And I am sure that I was not the exception when it came to wanting to know more …

More about myself, more about my family and more about God…normal average stuff, right? I wish I could say that it spurred me to move forward and find my faith. I sooo wish it had. But mostly I just thought about it all more, and knew even less what to do about it.

While pregnant with my second child (DD2), I knew that I really needed to make some life changes, and I absolutely knew that it needed to start with God. I didn't know where to go and I certainly wasn't going to talk about it - that would have violated the my life is mostly perfect mantra that I was busy chanting.

I am not sure what prompted my first trip to, what would later become, the big box church, but I made the visit - heavily pregnant with DD2 - with DD and my (now former) husband in tow. I remember vividly sitting in the hot building, listening to the booming music - music - certainly not like any church music I had heard before - and a Pastor with a message that instantly brought me to tears.

I recall being excited that it wasn't stuffy; that NFH didn't seem to mind the music or the message ... it seemed like a cool place. We kept going, for a while. And then I tried to keep going when we didn't go.

But, I stopped going - for multiple reasons ... because we weren't going, because no one really seemed to notice us, because they talked about money a lot (in an uncomfortable - to me- sort of way), and finally because I was told that I needed to take DD2 to the family room because she was too noisy ... I didn't want to go to church, but not be at church - sorta took away from the whole thing for me.

Then my life really started to unravel ...

and so I leave you with this; “You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.”- Psalm 86:5

Nettie